okay, so today has been okay? it wasn't bad but it wasn't great either. i've been sorta kinda texting clevon all day. i don't know whether that's a bad thing or not. yesterday he found out how i feel and he feels the same way. HOWEVER (and there is ALWAYS an however or but with me) he's already talking to someone. can you say FML??? like seriously. and i was really hoping that he wouldn't text me anymore. but he did. and honestly? i'm half excited that he did and a little annoyed that he did. he hasn't mentioned anything but i THINK that he tried to hint at it. cause he mentioned girls liking him like twice. but i just played it off and tried to go to another subject. bleh. i don't know if i can do this. i don't know if i can text him as if i don't feel anything for him. but i guess that i have to. i'm a tough girl (sorta). i think i can do this..
i'm trying to convince myself to focus on school once it starts. no boys. no distractions. no excuses. just me and school. just school and i. school starts in 3 days which doesnt give me much time to force myself to focus. especially when i like to use any excuse to put things off. but that ends today. school is more important then some boy. at least that's what i'm going to tell myself. today and last night erica was telling me the best advice that she could give me is to not fall in love at this age. and after seeing what happened between her and darrick, i understand. and i somewhat agree but that doesnt stop me from wanting what i want.
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